Wednesday, July 20, 2005

The Funniest Matrimonial Adz

Hmmm so back here after long time!
but there was not hing special to write abt!
9-6.45 office
some time to family
& finally internet.. & my countdown show going on my Hindi blog
So when I saw this joke floating in my mailbox I thought to share with u all!


Here are some of the funniest matramonial advertisements which are posted by funniest persons. Interested candidates who are seeking more funniest members as life partner can Contact them.

Fisherman
Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motor boat.

Salesman
Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article. One of the most handsome and smartestbachelor's around is now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses! Has own house, car and successful career!

Economist
I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements are high. However the Elasticity of my demands should notbear too heavy a burden upon the national interest.

Mathematician
Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed tohelp further my family unit.

IT Consultant
Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed of my current flows of information and processes is slowing down and the injection of a wife into my life is bound to improve efficiency. Compatibility could be an issue.

Business Man
Wife wanted for company.

Politician
I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live, to harmonize the processes of life and to build upon pastdifferences and short comings. I believe that we the people need someone to share our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized society................. (etc etc and never getting to the point)

Car Dealer
Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in excellent working condition.
Farmer
Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breading.

Lawyer
I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'mlooking for should be strictly -a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with evidence to support this view that she is a girl. Thegirl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objections would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are null and void in the event of failure on our part of any kind whatsoever

Pilot
Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed applicants. She must not have her heads in the clouds, but have her feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for the long haul. And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically sound!!!

Banker
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service

Shayar(Poet)
Bari muddat keh baad eik arazoo jaagi hai Key hum bhe shaadi shooda ho jaayeh,Kya bahaana shaadi karaney ka...............
Joh kurrey sarey sarey,Yeah mai butaatah hoon .........
Kyoon key yaroo ub khud ghur keh kaam hotah naheesarey sarey.

Accountant
Required a girl - 5'8". She must be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her very nature should be one of generating as few expenses in my life as possible. She should profit from a nice personality and be a credit to her family.

Sharabi (Drinker)
Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a drinks factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only whenfriends come round. Friends come round only seven times a week. Girl preferred who can carry me from bar to ghar-bar(home). Meet personally in a bar or send drinks for trial. Sample should be ample.

Mini Cab Driver
Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm calling from base, erm a wife is needed for pick me up. Drivinglicense not necessary, but maps reading skills are a bonus.

Beggar
Allah kay naam peh koi eik biwi dey dey, Doosrey kee nahi to upni hee dey dey, Allah terah bhalla karray, Tujhey eik keybadlay doh dey dey, Hillery hogi toh Monika bhi dey dey!

Builder
Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life. Must be homely and willing to build relationship from theground up.

Doctor
I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However if you feel the need for a second opinion then it's fineby me.

Army Commando
My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who dares wins. Camouflage provided

Race Car Driver
A model wife required to fit in with my fast track life. Must be able to keep pace!

Astronaut
I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to share my universe. Must have looks that are out ofthis world

So guys have u decided which one suits ur requirement !
and as for gals after some introspection they can easily decide from what profession their future life partner would be ! :) :)

7 comments:

Phoenix Rises said...

LOL! The beggar's and shayar's were the funniest!! The car dealer's not so much.

Keshi said...

LOLLLLLLLL funny!!!

Keshi.

Dawn....सेहर said...

Wha Manish...jawab nahi tumhara bhi...amazing post for such a wonderful...topic that was going on...I must thank the person who sent u this :)

good one...poet ka amazing..but fisherman ..wallah hahahah :)

cheers & thanks for a good laugh!

nin said...

nice one Manish....
full of wit and humour...

Sayesha said...

Hahahahaha! Funny! :D

PuNeEt said...

Good 1 dude...
:-))

Manish said...

Thx PR, Keshi, DON, AVIK, Sayesha & Puneet for enjoying this one!