Thursday, May 05, 2005

Arranged & Love Marriages-Part-I

While browsing on the net I came across with the writings of Shobha De. Though she is not my favourite novelist, I found the topic quite closer to my heart. I remember those days when in college we discussed at great length on pros and cons of Arranged and Love marriages. So i thought why not throw the issue open to u all out there! But before that lets read what Mrs De has to say on this...


...I have seen as many successful ‘arranged’ marriages, as ‘love’ marriages. This is, of course, a peculiarly Indian description that amuses the rest of the world. But hey, I see ‘arranged’ or ‘semi-arranged’ marriages catching on, even in the West. Perhaps people have woken up to the reality that there are no real guarantees, no safety nets, either way. You can consult the most revered astrologer, talk to the family pundit, match horoscopes for all the ‘gunas’ endorsed by the shastras, but if a marriage has to collapse, it will. Ditto for a marriage driven by emotion, which we so cutely call a ‘love marriage’. It’s a fifty-fifty chance, whichever option one takes.

Young people have figured this out, perhaps intuitively. A lot of kids today are entrusting this all-important decision to their folks—parents, relatives, even well-meaning friends. Of course, the new ‘arrangement’ is more open-ended and better structured. Devoid of the old ‘rules’, which prescribed the ghastly ‘Dekho’ session, the social meetings orchestrated by middle men or women these days work in a more acceptable fashion....

3 comments:

Dawn....सेहर said...

Shoba De...well I have often read her some of the articles..am not a gr8 fan of hers..but what you have shared here is amazing...I liked it ..to see the change...as Gandhi ji said...

be that change what you want to see in future changed :)

good one!

Manish said...

Hi Dawn
Welcome to my new blog!
have to start a new one becoz i did not want to use fiddle with the language used by me at ESMN!
Again like u I am not great fan of hers but her new book The Truth about Marriage
is just being released and the topic was closer to my heart as i have seen this dekha dekhi rituals and interview session myself toomyself too! If u remember I told u sometime back about it also
I hope this thread will be useful to u too in coming period :):):)

Dawn....सेहर said...

:) I remember that..how can I forget...but I always felt these kinds of rituals shows how a women is treated...I used to hear from my granny about how they sell cows :p
kher...auron ke experience se humein seekh leni chahiye...yehi hamari samajh hey ;)